News & Press
Waking Up to Gratitude
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. I’ve become a fan of sunrises. Before COVID-19 changed all of our lives, my busy travel and teaching schedule had me hopping. Most mornings after I woke up, I went straight to work. I had a love-hate relationship with the adrenaline of...
The Director: Too Much Loss
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “Too Much Loss” ran in the October 2020 issue of The Director magazine. Find the full article here.
Frontline: Appreciate Your Transformation
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “Appreciate Your Transformation” ran in the Fall 2020 issue of Frontline magazine. Find the full article here.
The Director: Strength to Cope
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “The Strength to Cope” ran in the September 2020 issue of The Director magazine. Find the full article here.
COVID Caregivers and Grief Overload: Coping with Too Much Loss
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. For many caregivers, COVID-19 has been a nonstop wrecking ball. It has swung back and forth across the globe, decimating families and communities. And who’s there in the midst of the ongoing crisis, providing care to the hundreds of...
The Leader: Exploring the Natural Complications of the “WHYs” of Funerals During the Coronavirus Pandemic
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “Exploring the Natural Complications of the ‘WHYs’ of Funerals During the Coronavirus Pandemic” ran in the July 29, 2020 issue of The Leader Find the full article here.
Funeral Service Insider: Ways to Cope with Grief Overload
An article interviewing Dr. Wolfelt, “Ways to Cope with Grief Overload” ran in the July 2020 issue of the Funeral Service Insider Find the full article here.
The Director: The Power of Touch
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “The Power of Touch” ran in the August 2020 issue of The Director magazine. Find the full article here.
Frontline: Walking the Wilderness Together
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “Walking the Wilderness Together” ran in the Summer 2020 issue of Frontline. Find the full article here.Exploring the Natural Complications of the “WHYs” of Funerals During the Coronavirus Pandemic
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. I often say that when words are inadequate, have a ceremony. However, as you well know, right now is a challenging time to fully make use of ceremonies that help grieving families. COVID-19 has made it impossible for many families to...Human Touch During the Coronavirus Pandemic
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “How to Make Up for the Loss of Human touch During the Coronavirus Pandemic” is featured by Yahoo Life. Find the full article here.
The Director: 5 Pillars of Self-Care
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “5 Pillars of Self-Care for Funeral Directors” ran in the July 2020 issue of The Director magazine. Find the full article here.
The Director: Nurturing Hope in Difficult Times
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “Nurturing Hope in Difficult Times” ran in the June 2020 issue of The Director magazine. Find the full article here.
“Tell Me How to Grieve” Thoughts on Leaning on Ceremony After a Death During the Pandemic
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. This pandemic is replete with tragedy, but one Colorado story not far from my home has been weighing on my heart. In the Huffington Post on May 7, 2020, Mary Hagen Roberts published an essay about the death of her precious daughter,...
ICCFA Magazine: Educating Families About the Critical Importance of Permanent Placement
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “Educating Families About the Critical Importance of Permanent Placement,” ran in the May 2020 issue of the ICCFA magazine. Find the full article here.
The Director: The Other Pandemic
Dr. Wolfelt’s article, “The Other Pandemic,” ran in the May 2020 issue of The Director magazine. Find the full article here.
Ten Freedoms for Using Ceremony During the COVID-19 Pandemic
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. If someone you love has died during the novel coronavirus pandemic, you have come to grief in an exceptionally challenging moment in history. You may have been separated from your loved one as they were dying. You may have been unable...
Condolences in the Time of COVID-19: Guidance for Conveying Your Love and Support
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. When someone dies—of COVID-19 or any cause—during this pandemic, their loved ones are being left to grieve in especially harrowing circumstances. They may not have been able to be by the dying person’s side in the hospital or long-term care...
The COVID-19 Mourner’s Bill of Rights
Dr Wolfelt has been a long-time supporter and member of the Board of Advisors to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS). At their request, he created this Mourner’s Bill of Rights related to the pandemic.
The Art of the Freeze: A Pandemic Lesson in the Value of Liminal Space
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. I keep thinking about freeze tag. As we move into our second stay-at-home month during the COVID-19 pandemic, I find my thoughts returning to the old-timey childhood game I played decades ago with my neighborhood friends in my Indiana...How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus Pandemic
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. As the coronavirus spreads across North America and our daily lives are transformed, we all must be aware of the need for good mental-health care. Obviously, it’s a stressful time. Families are confined to their homes. School is canceled....Coronavirus and the Six Needs of Mourning
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Alongside the physical pandemic, the novel coronavirus is causing a pandemic of grief. That’s what we’re all feeling right now—grief. It’s important to recognize that. Grief is everything we think and feel inside of us whenever our...
Funeral Directors, We Need You! The Five Pillars of Basic Self-Care During the Coronavirus Pandemic
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. I’ve been privileged to work with funeral directors for more than forty years. I know and respect many of you as colleagues, and I count some of you among my closest friends. Funeral directors are good people. You’re “people people.”...Nurturing Hope in Difficult Times
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.” — Pliny the Elder The caller to the Center for Loss asked a question that is on the hearts of many right now: “Are we going to get through this?” It became obvious as the...This Pandemic of Grief
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. The coronavirus is not only causing a viral pandemic—it is giving rise to a pandemic of grief. As I write this, in mid-March, we as a global community are suffering so many losses that I hardly know where to begin. Death and grief go...
The Coronavirus Challenge: The Wonder of Waiting
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Have you noticed a number of people are saying some variation on, “I just can’t WAIT until these restrictions are lifted”? The trouble is, in our fast-paced, hurry-up culture, we’re not good at waiting. Waiting for a streaming movie to...Grieving a Coronavirus Death: Help for Special Circumstances
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. If someone you love has died of the novel coronavirus, it is likely that you are facing a number of challenging circumstances. Grief is always difficult, but it is especially difficult whenever a death is sudden, unexpected, and...Funerals in the Time of Coronavirus: Thoughts for Families
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Needless to say, the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 is a challenging time for everyone. But if someone you love has died, it is likely that the current social distancing orders and travel restrictions are making funeral planning...For Funeral Directors: Dealing with Families During the COVID-19 Pandemic
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Acknowledging the Current Reality – Implications for Families As you consider how to approach funeral planning during this global pandemic, don’t forget: 1. Anything that delays a funeral delays the natural mourning and healing...Eleven Tenets of Companioning the Bereaved
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Tenet One: Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain. Tenet Two: Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being’ it is not...
The Grief and Mourning of Cancer
The article, “The Grief and Mourning of Cancer” by Dr. Wolfelt appears in the March/April 2019 edition of Coping with Cancer. Find the PDF here. The magazine website can be found here.The Paradoxes of Mourning: Part 3 of 3
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Backtracking on the Route to Healing Paradox 3: Mourners must go backward before they can go forward. A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement or situation that is in fact often true. The paradox of mourning we will consider...In Praise of Slow Funerals
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Have you ever noticed that we are speed-obsessed these days, even though faster is often not better? A century ago, the Industrial Revolution brought about mass production and with it an emphasis on speed, efficiency, and productivity....Watch your words: The importance of semantics in funeral service
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Editor’s note: This article is excerpted from Dr. Wolfelt’s book, “Funeral Home Customer Service A-Z.” Have you ever noticed the power of words? Well-chosen words give structure to an entire chain of...The Paradoxes of Mourning: Part 1 of 3
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Creating Hello Opportunities Paradox 1: Families must say hello before they can say goodbye. A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement or situation that is in fact often true. The paradox of mourning we will consider...The Paradoxes of Mourning: Part 2 of 3
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. The Dark Night of the Soul Paradox 2: Mourners must make friends with the darkness before they can enter the light. A paradox is a seemingly self-contradictory statement or situation that is in fact often true. The paradox of mourning...Helping Yourself Heal When Someone You Care About Dies of a Drug Overdose
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. A friend or family member has died of a drug overdose. Death and grief are always hard, but when someone dies from drug use, understanding your feelings and knowing what to think and say about the death can be especially difficult....Grieving the Death of a Celebrity
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. When someone we have admired from afar dies, it’s normal and natural to experience grief. This article will help you understand your thoughts and feelings over the death of a celebrity and find healing ways to mourn. What is...Why Is the Funeral Ritual Important?
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “When words are inadequate, have a ritual.” — Author Unknown Rituals are symbolic activities that help us, together with our families and friends, express our deepest thoughts and feelings about life’s most important events. Baptism...Helping Your Family Heal After Stillbirth
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Stillbirth is a profound loss Few events in life bring about such warm and wonderful feelings of anticipation as the announcement of a pregnancy. As soon as you and your family learned you were expecting, you naturally began to have...Reaching Out for Help When You Are Grieving
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “Action is the antidote to despair.” – Joan Baez When someone you love dies, you must mourn if you are to renew your capacity for love. In other words, mourning brings healing. But healing also requires the support and...Living in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Grief: An Introduction
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” — Kahlil Gibran A central truth is that all of us as human beings are connected in our experiences of loss and grief. If you have picked up this newsletter...Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved. Rather than being times of family togetherness, sharing and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness. Love...Helping Yourself Heal When a Pet Dies
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. A pet is a family member, too A pet is often a member of the family. In fact, surveys show some interesting facts about pet owners: 84 percent consider their animals family members; 99 percent talk to their pets, and 54 percent...Helping Your Family Personalize a Funeral
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. If you are in the midst of planning a funeral, you may be feeling overwhelmed right now. Many details must be attended to. Many people must be contacted. Many decisions must be made. Your natural and necessary feelings of grief make...Helping Teenagers Cope with Grief
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Each year thousands of teenagers experience the death of someone they love. When a parent, sibling, friend or relative dies, teens feel the overwhelming loss of someone who helped shape their fragile self-identities. And these feelings...Healing Your Traumatized Heart: Seeking Safety, Understanding, and Peace
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Someone you love has died a sudden, traumatic death. If you are in the early days of your grief journey, you are likely still feeling numbed by shock and disbelief. This is a normal and necessary step, for it is nature’s way of...Helping a Friend in Grief
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “While the above guidelines will be helpful, it is important to recognize that helping a grieving friend will not be an easy task. You may have to give more concern, time and love that you ever knew you had. But this effort will be...Exploring the Uniqueness of Your Suicide Grief
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering.” —Ben Okri The wilderness of your grief is your wilderness. The death of someone from...Helping Your Family Heal After Miscarriage
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Miscarriage is a significant loss It is normal and natural to hurt deeply after miscarriage. While others may imply or outright tell you that miscarriage happens too early on for you to be attached to the baby, or that miscarriage is...Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “When a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child and they feel the pain of their own child’s suffering. Sometimes we forget about the grandparents when a child dies. You can help by...Helping a Grieving Friend in the Workplace
By Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “Grief is a long, painful journey. As the friend of a grieving coworker, you can choose to help make the journey more tolerable. Tell your coworker how sorry you are and listen if she wants to talk. Be available to her in the...Helping Yourself Heal When an Adult Sibling Dies
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs...Helping Yourself Heal When a Parent Dies
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Your mother or father has died. Whether you had a good, bad or indifferent relationship with the parent who died, your feelings for him or her were probably quite strong. At bottom, most of us love our parents deeply. And they love...Helping Children Understand Cremation
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. The adult as role model and helper A child you care about is grieving the loss of someone loved. If you, too, loved the person who died, you are now faced with the difficult but critical task of helping both yourself and the child...Helping Children with Funerals
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. The adult as role model and helper A child you care about is grieving. If you, too, loved the person who died, you are now faced with the difficult but critical task of helping both yourself and the child heal. Throughout the coming months...Helping Yourself Heal When Your Child Dies
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “The experience of grief is powerful. So, too, is your ability to help yourself heal. In doing the work of grieving, you are moving toward a renewed sense of meaning and purpose in your life.” ~ ~ ~ Allow yourself to mourn Your...Helping Children Cope With Grief
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Adults grieve. So do children. As an adult or child, experiencing grief means to “feel,” not just to “understand.” Anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve. Even before children are able to talk, they grieve when someone loved...Helping Yourself Heal When Your Spouse Dies
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “The experience of grief is powerful. So, too, is your ability to help yourself heal. In doing the work of grieving, you are moving toward a renewed sense of meaning and purpose in your life.” ~ ~ ~ Acknowledge your loss...
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